Humour ROOM

Secrets to a Happy Marriage It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans. It is important to find a woman who makes good money. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex. It is important that these three women never meet.

THERE IS MAN AT THE PARK SITTING ON THE BENCH CRYING… CRYING, SOMEONE ASKED, WHY ARE YOU CRYING? HE REPLIED I HAVE JUST MARRIED THIS BEAUTIFUL 30 YEAR OLD GIRL, SHE IS WONDERFUL, SHE COOKS DELICIOUS MEALS, SHE KEEPS THE HOUSE VERY CLEAN, SEX IS GREAT, THE MAN ASKED: SO WHY ARE YOU CRYING? THE ELDERLY MAN ANSWERED: I FORGOT WHERE I LIVE.

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam‘s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he was ill, & asked, “Johnny what is the matter?“ Little Johnny responded, ”I have a pain in my side. I think I‘m going to have a wife

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, “And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?“ One bright little girl replied, ”Because people are sleeping

Three men were on a trip in Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 gorgeous women. The men started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik walked in. ?I am the master of all these beautiful women. No one else can touch them except for me. You three men must pay dearly for what you have done today. The three of you will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession.? The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. ?I?m a police officer?, says the first man. ?Then we will shoot your penis off!?, said the sheik. He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. ?I?m a firemen?, said the second man. ?Then we shall burn your penis off!?, said the sheik. Finally, he asked the last man, ?And you, what do you do for a living?? The third man answered, with an ear to ear grin, ?I?m a lollipop salesman!?

Forgivenes The preacher's, Sunday sermon was Forgive Your Enemies. The preacher's, Sunday sermon was Forgive Your Enemies. He asked, how many have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80% held up their hands. He then repeated his question again. All responded, except one elderly lady. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" asked the preacher. "I don't have any." she replied. "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" asked the preacher. "Ninety-three." she replied. "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world." asked the preacher. The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, and said, "It's easy, I just outlived those bitches."