Blogs

It’s early… there is no coffee at the office and the caffeine hungry java-junkies are fidgeting around aimlessly. I sit staring into empty space as my brain is not fully rebooted from a nights sleep, I am desperate for coffee…. Chai, tea, anything that contains a trace amount of caffeine. I want it… I need it…. And I need it now.

It’s my second day in the new section of this company, working for a woman who earlier came out of her office tapping the vein on her arm and in a zombie like voice said “coooofffeeeeee”…which needless to say freaked the crap out of me. Now unlike my usual sarcastic self I actually offered to share my monster with her…. Mmmm monster, 710mls of nothing but pure energy.
I have to admit I like my new boss. She’s quirky funny and has this bitchy streak that makes me giggle. Like yesterday she was dealing with a rather obnoxious man who reminded me of a penguin…short, stubbly and a waddle to his walk. He was growling about service delivery and such, when Miss Ladyboss piped up and smiled sweetly at him before saying “If you wanted good service you should have phoned Scooters pizza, I’m sure they can fulfill your greatest wish in under 40 minutes”.
Typical me, I burst out laughing and she winked and gave me the thumbs up as the penguin man scowled at me. I think I have just met my role model.
This new office area is rather interesting as well. No more weird co-workers, instead I find myself surrounded by a senile old man, a teen age boy and a middle aged guy with a weird eye. I guess I could pop in for a few visits with the other office people. Might be fun to sit and yak about old times before I borrow their imported coffee without permission. Come to think of it…. I think I should meander my way over the road casually, pop in and liberate some Brazilian java…. I would then be a hero in this office…. They should dedicate an off day to me…
See this is what happens when my mind wanders…
Next thing I know I will be in the clan of the cave bear swinging a leather thing around my head aiming it straight at goliaths crotch… wait a second… vaguely familiar…


I’m off topic again… Coffee… that delicious dark brown substance with an odor so good I could stand at the percolator all day sniffing it. The office sheeple stand there staring at the coffee machine with the faint hope of it switching itself on and magically getting hot java from thin air. I have this image in my head of a group of cave people standing around it suddenly, grinning as my mental movie plays a scene where Ug the magnificent smacks the offending machine with a Diplodocus bone and grunts his way to percolated heaven.

At this very moment I find myself gently smacking my head to get that ridiculous image out of my head, but sadly it isn’t working. I blame too many psychedelic trips back in time thanks to the history channel.

Next thing you know I will be imagining a half naked man with a cup of steaming coffee swinging from a vine to hand deliver me a steaming cup of java. Oh wait… I’m already picturing that.