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I have stuck with him through thick & thin, I have been his pillar of strength, his psychologist, his friend & most of all, his lover. I endured hurtful words, calls and messages from strange women; I've been disowned by my family for loving him. They saw in him what I couldn't see because I was blinded by my love for him. I really thought that’s what he needed to be a better man; I wasn’t trying to change him… I was just trying to show him that even “he” deserved to be happy, even “he” deserved happiness & true love.

Had I known what an asshole he would turn out to be, some people would say they would never have bothered, but that’s not right. Had I known, I would still have done the same because I have loved more when I was with him & I have laughed so much with him. We shared great moments together, good food, great adventures and good friends. We’ve cried much together than apart, we were almost two complete individuals, together.

I have never been happier than when I was with him, but then again, I’ve never known greater pain like I did when I was with him. He shattered my heart & I kept going back for more each time. Perhaps if he truly loved me, he could’ve seen the hurt he was inflicting on me and stop but he never did. I gave him all the love I had in me, the attention, I worshipped the ground he walked on… then he turned around and betrayed my true love for him. For a whole year I have dedicated my life & love to him, only to find out that he spent the year dedicating his desires to another woman; a woman I called my friend not so long ago.

I have been duped, he played with my love, and he toyed with my emotions. He betrayed the strongest power in the galaxy; he betrayed love, and not just any love, true love. I will never forgive him for this.
I know this is common, and that I should get over it, I’m not the first one, and certainly not the last woman to get heartbroken. But you won’t understand until it happens to you, I feel like my soul has been ripped out & there’s no way to reach it.

I was there when his baby-mama threatened to take his child away from him. I was there when he was literally down & out, I was there when he was kicked out of his home. I was there when he needed a messenger, a friend, a lover, a psychologist, a priestess & a confidante. I was the one who wiped the tears off his face, who cried with him & comforted him.

I was sure he had seen all he needed to in order to understand the concept of true love, & that he was among the lucky ones who had that in their lives.
If YOU could see him, you’d think he’s a helpless angel, what lies within that handsome face is the heart of a true confident devil. 'The true face of evil is that of an angelic face.'
As time goes on, I hope to find the courage & strength to love again… Who knows, I might just meet a true angel this time. But why risk it? Well, I’m a rare soul. We love like there’s no tomorrow, & we lose our will to live when we are hurt….

P.S. Whoever reads this; I hope you NEVER go through the pain that I have endured. I cannot trust that you would be strong enough to handle it….


Regards,
Shakira