Blogs

by Dumisani Hlophe

Meet Thabile and Sfiso Twala. They got married last year December. Sfiso was married to Thandi, and divorced her two years ago. Thandi is a well educated and career successful woman. Together with a group of women, they have a well thriving company. Sfiso is equally well educated and running a very successful company.

Sfiso and Thandi have two beautiful children – a boy and a girl aged five and three respectively. As a married couple, they were materially well off. They even had a car that their maid (or helper) used to take kids to and from pre school – and also use it for shopping groceries and doing errands. In fact, they made their maid to take driving lessons and get a driver’s license.

You may not have guessed. But their maid was Thabile. Yes, Thabile – the very same woman who now is Mrs. Twala. How did this happen? Put crudely, Thandi became a victim of the de-womanising corporate world.

The more Thandi rose in the corporate world, the less she applied herself to wife duties. Quiet often, she would wake up earlier than Sfiso and dress up for work. Thabile would then fill the void. Wake up, wash and dress up the kids for school. She would prepare them breakfast and ensure that they have something to eat at school. She would drop them at school and pick them up later. In case they fell sick, the school headmistress would not call Thandi or Sfiso for that matter – but Thabile. Thabile knew their type of illness and which medical practitioner to consult.

As Thandi went on business conferences and strategic workshops during weekends, Thabile would drive the kids to the park and the Zoo and played with them – at times with Sfiso. It is no wonder that the kids got more attached to Thabile than Thandi.

In certain instances, Thandi did not wake up so early to go to work. Nevertheless, it was still Thabile who made Sfiso a cup of coffee and a cheese and tomato sandwich. Whenever Sfiso wore clothes whose colours did not coordinate, it was Thabile who advised Sfiso that such clothing did not coordinate. Then she would choose the matching shirt and tie. In fact, she would even advise Thandi and iron their clothes.

So whenever Sfiso got to work and his colleagues complimented him for being smartly dressed, his heart went to Thabile and not his wife Thandi. The more his business companions were impressed by his sense of dress code, his smile silently went to Thabile.

At times, both Thandi and Sfiso would host their business partners. Both of them had to mingle and network with their business associates. Thabile would do the cooking. And you guessed it now – as and when the guests expressed gratitude for a great meal, the credit went to Thabile.

In instances where Thandi go home early from work, she would take a bath, and immediately log on into her lap top. She would check her and respond to her e mails, and finish work related documents. As Sfiso also arrived home from work, it would be Thabile who would make him a mug of soup so he could be warm. Thabile would do the same for Thandi.

It was even worse that in the bedroom they had a TV set. As Thandi went to bed, she would first watch some documentaries on the telly so she could catch up some sleep. In the process, making love became a rare phenomenon. Before you get carried away – Thabile did not take over this role. She only slept with Sfiso after they had married.

Sfiso is a romantic man. From time to time he would buy Thandi roses. She would thank him, and within a minute she would call Thabile to place the flowers in the relevant container. She would cancel dinners with Sfiso due to business commitments. At worse, they would even go to visit their parents in the rural areas with two different cars – his and hers!

Just like Sfiso’s kids, he found himself drawn towards Thabile. Thabile is not sophisticated like Thandi. But she knew and did the little things that touched the inner side of Sfiso: making him coffee in the morning; making him a cup of soup (it only took her two minutes at a time); cooked the best of meals; took care of the kids; and made him look good at work and among his peers. And before you assume she manipulated the situation, she did all this with no ulterior motives.

Interestingly, Sfiso contributed a lot to Thandi’s career growth. They started dating whilst Thandi was still at varsity, and Sfiso was working by then. He helped her with her tuition fees, and bought her books as and when he could afford to assist. He had always made it clear that he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart. Even when he proposed for marriage, he did emphasize that he was doing so out of love, and nothing else. And when Thandi accepted to marry him, it was purely out of love for Sfiso. After they got married, he introduced her to his corporate network which assisted Thandi to climb the corporate ladder.

The Stimela band has a song entitled “tell me where did we go wrong?” The more Thandi climbed the corporate ladder; she forgot to remain a woman. Meanwhile, Sfiso remained a man despite his professional corporate ladder success.

Put simply, as much as both sexes grow in their professionalism and careers, ultimately, both the man and woman have bare minimums roles that they must play in their relationships.

Sadly for Thandi, even the kids refused to go with her.

Thabile and Sfiso are currently enjoying the European summer after escaping our winter down south. They will be back in September.