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Dating don'ts

Be yourself, but be your best self…

DON’T wear something you’ll constantly be hiking up your boobs or dragging down your butt. It will make you look self-conscious and you won’t enjoy your evening.

DON’T order salad. There’s nothing more annoying than a woman who doesn’t eat real food. Also, eating a salad neatly is right up there in the difficulty levels with eating spaghetti neatly. Also tacos. And spinach.



DON’T laugh at his jokes if it isn’t funny. Men love it when they’re made to feel funny, but if that’s not how you feel it’s false advertising and you’re just wasting your time and his.

DON’T wear your biggest, bestest push-up bra/fillets/fake nipples or whatever is the rage these days. If this is going somewhere you’ll be losing your top eventually and you don’t want to create impossibly high expectations for your boobs.

DON’T talk about your mother, your cat or your children. As fascinating as they are to you, as boring are they to other people.

Not funny. Okay, maybe a little

DON’T do that “phone a friend thing to come and save you” thing. If you don’t like the guy, it won’t kill you to be polite and nod and smile for 2 hours. If he’s truly being an asshole, then you don’t need an excuse. Just get up and walk out.

DON’T take someone with you on the date. Also, don’t sms, tweet, phone other people during the date. It’s unforgivably rude.

DO have it in a public space. Going to someone’s house or inviting him to yours… oh do I really have to say it? Rape, torture, murder, okay?

And on that cheerful note, I leave it over to you… More tips anyone?

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