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A twisted tour of the cubicle jungle




There are many predatory species wandering the corridors of this small office. Oh there’s one now, Grey hairicus femalus better known as the bum pinching older female. We watch as she stalks her prey, the unsuspecting new addition to the cubicle jungle, the young male known us victimicus cute-bumicus. She approaches, using a distraction technique before moving in for the kill. He dodges, but is too late as her hands slips to his posterior causing him to yelp in surprise. We watch as she moves off, leaving the injured and damaged carcass of a shivering young male behind, then finally he shudders and silently stalks back to his domain…the mental scars of said encounter to haunt him for a few hours.

We move further into the jungle towards the watering hole, where a herd of young females have gathered to quench their thirst, it seems they are in heat as a male approaches, this male is known as muscularis no-brainicus. He purposefully stretches his muscular appendages out for these oblivious females to admire; their interest peaked by his physical appearance. The females belong to the sub species barbicus-inhaled-too-much-acetonicus…… he seems particularly interested in the one with the large mammary glands; she turns and appears to have dropped something. He leans down to ogle her wares, by her flushed appearance we gather she is about to begin a mating ritual.

We leave these beasts at the watering hole to delve even further into the unknown jungle, stopping at a cave resembling a large corner office. Here we observe a group of rather slightly built critters sporting large rings around their eyes, sipping from tribal cups that seem to give them instant energy. We shall call this jungle juice. They chatter amongst themselves in an unfamiliar dialect, jittering towards large relics. They are known as geekius sapiens… the most advanced primate in the jungle. They habitually flock together and travel in small inconspicuous groups sniggering at the large breasted cuckoo birds as they pass them.

Finally we move off to the jungle canopy where perched is anti-socialus femalus. Gathering around her seem to be various materials she will use for nesting. Yet we do not observe a mate in her vicinity. We will return to this strange wilderness to explore the habits and movements another time. For now we shall let these species live and thrive on their own.















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